I was never really taught to be assertive. At least, I never truly learned what it meant. In fact, I didn’t even fully understand the word until one day, my supervisor mentioned it in passing. That led me to Google it.

"Assertive" means expressing your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs confidently, directly, honestly, and respectfully. Did I know this already? On some level, yes. But did I practice it? Not really. As strange as it sounds, I still struggle to find the right way to be assertive. When you look it up, some definitions even include having a “forceful personality.” But my idea of being a good person was always about keeping peace, saying yes, avoiding conflict, tolerating things silently. I see now how flawed that belief is.

To grow, I need to unlearn that old pattern and relearn how to stand my ground with dignity, self-respect, and clarity. Assertiveness is not about being rude or dominant. It’s a skill, something I can train, not a fixed personality trait.

Then there’s being intentional. I want to do things with purpose, not just go with the flow. I’ve often described myself as a “nice person” because I didn’t say no, didn’t raise doubts, and just nodded along. That kind of passiveness was my way of being kind, but it’s incomplete. Now, I want to be intentional: to act based on clear goals, awareness, and purpose. If I want to have control over my life, I need to stop living on autopilot and start choosing my actions deliberately.

But none of this works without discipline. People usually hate being corrected, especially by someone who doesn’t have their own act together. So, I need to start with myself. Discipline at the core. Once I have that, I can shape my behavior and speak with confidence, knowing exactly what I’m saying and why. Discipline, to me, is self-control, structure, and consistency.

Today, I tried. It was hard. Saying no to repeated requests, especially the small ones that tug at your soft side, is tough. But even the smallest decisions matter. In my old version of being “nice,” I give in too easily and end up feeling defeated. I want that to change.

The truth is, I can do anything I set my mind to. This is just me reflecting. Sometimes I let even little kids step all over me, and it overwhelms me. It’s a mirror of how I’ve lived, accommodating, unsure, over-giving. There’s a lot of inner work to be done. I need to strengthen my assertiveness and discipline. I need to work on confidently communicating in the language and tone that resonates with the world around me.

This is the journey : assertive, intentional, disciplined.