Three months ago, on May 28, I created my Reset Plan. I promised myself clarity, structure, and intention. I focused on communication, fitness, AWS, touch typing, AI, PhD applications, and financial discipline. For a time, I followed through — consistently, with discipline, and with heart.

Then came the inevitable pauses. Breaks stretched longer than I planned. I tried again and again to restart, but each attempt revealed a deeper truth: I had overloaded myself. I wanted to achieve everything at once, to waste zero minutes, to live like a machine. But I am not a machine. I am human.

I now understand that growth is not about intensity alone — it’s about sustainability. It’s about carrying the right weight, not every weight.

What I’ve Learned Since May

On Ambition and Focus

My desire to do everything diluted my focus. Now, I choose less but better — fewer goals, more intentional effort.

On Research and PhD Dreams

Applying for a PhD has made me question myself constantly. I still feel the sting of imposter syndrome. Even with a master’s and bachelor’s in computer science, I often feel unqualified. But I also know that research is what I want — I want to dedicate my life to learning and discovery. Doing it part-time, while balancing family and work, feels impossible. So I strive for a PhD not just for the degree, but because it makes learning my full-time work.

On Skills and Tools

My typing speed is decent, but I want more precision and fluency.

My writing and language have dulled because I leaned too much on AI to polish my words. I don’t want to lose the sharpness of my own expression.

Communication and confidence remain top priorities, as they were in May.

On Life Balance

Playing tennis with my wife has brought joy and grounding. My disciplined investing habits remind me that patience and consistency matter more than hype. My hobbies and family still keep me whole.

Moving Forward

I won’t abandon my May 28 Reset Plan — it gave me structure and direction. But now I begin again with a lighter, more human load:

Focus on fewer priorities at a time.

Allow breaks without guilt, but don’t lose direction.

Prioritize depth over breadth.

Stay consistent, but flexible.

Above all, I remind myself: I am not giving up. Pauses are not failures; they are part of the process. Today, I start again — this time not with the weight of perfection, but with the clarity of intention.

Abhisan begins again. August 28, 2025. One day at a time.